Unleashed - Freedom of the Feminine Form
Ta-Tas, Titties, and Total Freedom were the name of my game last Sunday at the Wisdome Unleashed experience in Downtown LA. You might be wondering what exactly that means.. so please, sit back and read on while I dive into an emboldening experience of utter ambrosial freedom on the dance floor and with at least 150 other people.
First though.. Let me share about my past experience. Growing up I was always sort of the “chubby kid.” I can still remember this little boy in like 4th grade making fun of me for wearing stretchy jeans.. apparently that meant I was fat. Boy did he hurt my feelings. I had loved those butterfly embroidered pants. I didn’t know or care what the stretch band meant until he so rudely pointed out that I was not as tiny as the other girls. I still had my ‘baby fat.’
That was the beginning of my body shame.
My body was not like the other girls. Some had big breasts.. many were quite thin.. and here I was - a pudgey little cutie patootie with long straight hair and a knack for making people laugh. By no means a vixen - and why would I be in fourth grade..? - I still wanted to be accepted and thought attractive by the other boys in school, though. Little did I know that this young man’s teasing was actually a cry for my attention. Oh, the layers of healing we all need in how to share our interests with one another!
As a young woman I do remember wanting to take scissors to the rolls of fat on my body. Wondering how the skin would come back together if I just snipped it off piece by piece. I didn’t understand that plastic surgery went inside the body, leaving no physical scars- just emotional. I just wanted to be smaller and cute. To fit in.
I truly believe that I had to fit into a particular body type to be loved or seen by men. That my figure was more important than my inner radiance..
Oh the love I send to that young girl who truly had no idea. Who was doing her best! Who was happy.. Why would a young girl want to hurt and mutate her body when the reality was that.. everything was perfect - she was healthy and energetic. Glowing even! She had a radiant smile and incredible intelligence. A beauty that was natural and pure. My sweet girl, she was growing up in her own time.
I did consider myself an ugly duckling.. and a late bloomer. Now I realize I was just on my own time.
We all are.
So why then was this past week so invigorating?!
Well, I’ve made it my life’s purpose to remind all women of their beauty and perfection. Starting with myself.
In a world where women are fundamentally shamed for being themselves - for the confusing messages of
”Be sexy, but not too sexy!” “Love yourself but if you Love yourself TOO much you’re a Bitch!”
It’s time to break free.
The Unleashed dance party I went to was a testament to the Freedom that lives within us. This MOVEMENT gives its guests an opportunity to EXPRESS to the FULLEST all that they are - the courage, the passion, and the fierce love of being alive. It’s a guided journey in the LION HEART we all have. And it’s a journey that we are all on together.
It is a SAFE space to explore without fear of getting assaulted or energetically attacked for being embodied. it’s a place where all bodies, all hearts, all colors, and all flavors are accepted and even celebrated.
So when I arrived and was prompted with the Question: “What’s one thing you can do today that will break your patterns and evoke more freedom for yourself?” I knew my simple answer was to stay for the whole event and let myself be.. Me. To step out of my personal cage and to have some real fun.
Which ended up being exactly the medicine I needed.
So, why the body shame conversation up top? Why the vulnerable share on my sadness as a sweet little girl about her body and her roundness and her soft edges?
Well, fast forward to this woman - right here and now. That has traveled the world and invested so much energy into transforming the past and all the social conditioning.. and you get a wild and wonderful woman who lives the life of the Muse - inspiring others to LOVE to their fullest capacity. To show you that through diligent support with other sisters and sharing our past can help us rewrite our future. I never thought I’d be the topless girl. Especially when sober! (If you’ve read my past blogs you might know I suffered from alcoholism in order to mask how free I was — because I really felt judged for my expressiveness so it was easier to hide it under.. “Oh, she’s just wasted"")
But to be the topless and bare-breasted women shaking her tail feather in the name of LOVE - without one thought or attempt at being sexy or liked, but rather to be FREE and HAPPY! That, my loves, is the Feminine Rising we are making happen right now. Sexuality is beautiful and natural. The feminine form is a priceless and pure manifestation of all that is Good and Beautiful in this world.
So what does that look like in life? To start it means getting uncomfortable every day in order to continue growing and evolving. It means feeling EVERYTHING and feeling it with an open heart in order to understand it within myself and therefore better understand it within others.
It means showing up as nature. In a wildly feminine expression that is fluid and spontaneous as the weather.
The pain of hating myself and my body ran so deep it nearly destroyed me as a young girl. That shame followed me into my womanhood where I learned to try and fit into other peoples ideas of “perfect and right” to fit in and be appreciated.
And that Pain stopped when I said FUCK YOU to anything that made me feel small or unworthy. It stopped when I started investing in my body as my temple.. and it’s a movement we are all in on together. To think that any of us are safe from the mind-warping hypnotization of society is wrong. What is right though is our ability to transform the past into our pleasurable future! and to live a life that says:
I’m fucking Worthy and Radical! and I LOVE myself.
So at Unleashed - in a moment of support from my sisters and being held in a container by the men in the room — I took my top right off — exposing my soft and sweet belly, my small round breasts, and my radiant fucking heart.
I ran into the center of the room with other women where we danced sensually and howled at the sky! We held each other and twirled and felt SAFE FREEDOM. Women of all shapes, sizes, and colors.. all together in love. What started as me desiring freedom and expression (what, all the guys had their shirts off..) Ended in a huge group of women taking their tops off with me. Sweaty skin on skin and sweet sisterhood supporting each of us in loving our bodies as temples - not as a pieces of meet to fit into a standard to impress some guy or be used as a toy.
It was magical. Especially because my body isn’t perfect. Some days I still struggle to love myself as much as I deserve — and some days I see how perfect and radiant I truly am. Some days I have bags under my eyes and some days I get up looking like a Queen.
Life is real - you are real. Reality doesn’t come in cookie-cutter shapes and sizes. Reality comes like nature. Pure and perfect in it’s unique form. Just like women.
To be safe and let myself celebrate my body in that moment was monumental! It was exactly what I needed o remember my pure form, my inherent wild woman, and the ability we have as sisters to support one another in loving kindness.
Here’s what my girlfriend Tatiana said after the experience: “that moment when we stood together in the center of the center, flung our sweaty shirts off, bare breasted amazon warriors and raised our faces to the sky like radiant sunflowers beaming the truth of love and screamed and roared together in the pure ecstasy of being alive, thank you Hannah for igniting the magic spark of freedom within all of us.”
The pain we all feel, the shame we were gifted — it’s not even about us anymore. It’s such ancient wounding and trauma that the story is getting old sharing - so that is why we must absolutely be in this together. To rise above the outdated and into the pure, innocent pleasure of being alive - of being divinely human.
YOU AREN’T HERE TO LOOK GOOD FOR YOUR PARTNER OR TO FIT INTO THAT STUPID FASHIONNOVA DRESS. Although, yea that’s fun. The beauty and sensuality I’m here to live and represent is so much deeper than that though. It’s the glow that comes from the SOUL right out the pores of your skin and blesses everyone around with the warm feeling of home. It’s the kind of Beauty that others look at and honor because it comes from self-love and respect.
Sister, you are a work of art. A masterpiece given to this planet to shine your fucking heart out and beam love towards all you encounter. You, my love, are a muse. Inspiring all those around you. If you are experience unworthiness or lack of love - take your power back with one single ferocious lion’s breath and claim now:
”I am the keeper of Light and Love. My soul is perfect and my temple divine! I choose to believe in my worthiness and I KNOW I am essential to this Planet.”
And then take the uncomfortable and BOLD steps it requires to create an internal foundation of Love within yourself through daily ritual and spiritual practice.
Let yourself be celebrated and seen! Wild and Free.. like nature herself. Don’t let discomfort tame you. Use discomfort to break out of your shell and into the life of your wildest dreams. This is a call to action! To release the stories of the past and to remember your importance. To take your freedom back and to CELEBRATE yourself in EVERY expression, emotion, and desire.
Are you ready to realize your fullest potential? And to love the sensual woman you were made as?
We are The Feminine Rising.