Caring & Loving Touch
I’ve been contemplating what it means to heal and how the traumas of childhood follow us as we mature until we take a good long look at where our patterns are coming from and make a firm intention within to walk a different path. Even the brain becomes so entrenched in patterns that we have to consciously carve out new neural pathways very carefully when breaking an old pattern. When I have clients coming to me with sexual wounds or abuse it is quite evident because of the relationships they tend to attract towards them. This does not happen over night or by choice usually. It happens because there is an intrinsic attraction between recurring experiences until the experience is fully held in love and allowed to heal. That’s where Caring & Loving Touch is so important and an absolute foundation of all my bodywork practices. Discovering what pain lies dormant in your bodies tissues is paramount before working through any old, dense energy. Through the intention of Loving Touch your body is given a chance to rewire the type of touch it receives and the way it feels receiving it.
Say, for example, your first husband cheated on you and every time he came to touch you, the touch he offered you was tainted by shame or guilt. Imagine being held by this touch. Touch that wasn’t coming from a pure place or from a pure or clear heart. Your body feels the subtle sensations of this touch and on a very molecular level is contracting due to the ‘tone’ of this touch.
For some women, they have experienced sexual abuse or assault. In these cases the body only knows touch that is disrespectful, attacking, and full of fear. As a women ages, the body begins to attract similar relationships, challenging partners, unfulfilling connections because of the original imprint made.
Our bodies are so complex that they actually remember what sort of touch we first received as a child or that we received most often. When a woman is continually bombarded with unhealthy love, her body remembers that as “natural.”
It is only when a pattern is interrupted that the pattern can change. When you stop saying yes to touch that hurts your heart or body and invite Caring & Loving Touch into your life are you able to start attracting partners and experiences that resonate at that frequency.
For me, I experienced the traumas of rape in high school and for a very long time found it hard to attract relationships that were aligned with my hearts true desire. So used to being a sexual device, I was missing the nurturing attentiveness of a healthy partnership. Through many challenges and finally some good ole fashion surrender I finally found my way into healthy self-care practices that began to reprogram and release the old wounds. When I started working with breast massages, yoni massages and clearings, rituals around water and cleansing my heart, my soul, and my womb, I started to see dramatic shifts in my day to day life, thoughts, and relationships. Add a healthy dose of authentic relating and clear communication and the people in my life became more and more angel like, the touch I received became more healing, and my bodies armor started to melt away.
I have many clients who come to me who have not been held in a caring and loving way for years. Their hearts hardened and their bodies stiff with stress, I offer a safe space to allow soft, sweetness back into your world. So used to being touched with a “goal” of sex in mind, that they can’t even fathom just being nurtured for the sake of nurturing, to be held for the sake of loving, and to be seen as more than a body, these women remember what it means to be happy and free, yet often times need a hand to hold as they walk back home to that sacred place within themselves. To witness and uplift you as the divine feminine spirit you truly are, delicately draped in a human’s garb, is the intention behind all of my work. Full integration and healing.
Through speaking up when things don’t feel uncomfortable, through changing the environments you spend time at and the people you have in your life, you will notice that your body can naturally begin to blossom back into the fullest expression of self.
Many women still find it hard to be in their complete femininity because they fear the attention that comes from being too beautiful, too bright, too bold, too brave. My sisters, do not make yourselves small or shabby because you fear attention. Instead know your boundaries and command respect from those around you. You are absolutely worthy of being big, radiant, and beautiful - let yourself shine and use it as a practice to stand up for Women Everywhere living the lives they deserve. Peace, passion, and pleasure are all the results of taking the initiative to loving yourself up and getting clear on what SACRED means to you. Sacred Touch, Sacred Time together, Sacred Energy — these things differ from person to person. You will only get what you know you are worthy of and that you allow others to offer you. NO is a full sentence to people who do not feel good for your spirit. Use your yeses wisely.
I’m very blessed to have experienced all the hardships I had because they brought me to the path of white tantra, of self-love and self-care, of vulnerability and raw-authenticity. Had it not been for what I experienced I would have never found such a deep connection to my soft and pure innocence at the core of my being — shrouded behind years of shame and guilt for being ‘pretty’ and feeling the neediness of men trying to balm the hardships of their hearts with disconnected sexual experiences.
I’m here as an open book to share my experiences so that other women can wake up to the TRUE delight that living a sensual life of pleasure and play offers you as a women. My prayer is to save anyone from the pain I’ve endured purely because I didn’t know where to go or whom to talk to. Know that my heart and home is a safe space for all that you are. Until we all speak up, we can not change the world. Your voice matters and your desires matter - let us unlock both of them for you to be in your innocent and embodied bliss.
It’s all love and its definitely a huge practice in forgiveness.
If you feel like you are ready to release the chains of the past by stepping into deeper states of empowered femininity through profound somatic therapy and embodied movement reach out to me to connect. Its an honor to share my hearts song with you and to offer you the same practices that empowered me to have aligned, soul and heart centered relationships that encourage me to continually be a better and happier version of myself every day.
Today I have a beautiful partner, innumerable amounts of playful and loving friends, and an incredible love for my body and my spirit. You can, too.
If one on one work seems too distant in the future for you, be sure to check out my monthly women’s gatherings and playshops as well. There’s many ways you can come into community and be seen and celebrated as the divine women you are! It is especially important to raise your voice and share your story - I can assure you that you are not alone and we all absolutely need your medicine.
Hannah Marie Muse